I BLOG because I care....

Shit has been really funny lately...and not the normal "I'm laughing at your life because mine is so much better. Life is always funny when it's happening to someone else." But like a legitimate funny streak is going on. I've somehow concluded that I'm a fucking dumbass and I've learned to laugh at myself. In my head, shit sounds like it's something really good to say but when it comes out it makes no freakin' sense.

Example: I tried to say "In fact Katie, I took 3 plastic bags at Target to make up for the lack of bags you took. I made up for your carbon footprint saving."

Instead I said "In fact Katie, I took 3 plastic bags at Target. I used my carbon fiber eraser to erase your good deeds."

I think I'm going crazy. Like officially head-case crazy and I'm ok with it. At least I'm smiling.

So this chick I knew from work in NY responded to my facebook friend request with a nice little message saying: "Seriously? Why the fuck would I want to be friends with you?"

AHAHAHA! For some reason, that is hilarious. Why the fuck wouldn't you want to be friends with me? I guess she's used to the whole "asshole Mary" that I used to be...but I'm pretty fucking rad now. Even when I'm being a complete a-hole, I'm nowhere near the chaos that I used to be.

In other news, I really miss ADS. I really miss laughing with him and running around like an idiot in a mosh pit with him. I really miss punching him in the face just for fun (with his permission of course). I miss talking about politics, art, religion, life with him. He gave me such permission to be myself and he loved me in his own little fucked up way. I feel like I haven't been able to speak to another person like I could with him. I think it's because he let me be right and do whatever I want all the time.

I always wonder if people think about me as much as I think about them...especially the ones I really think about ya know?

Fucking words make my life...

There are a few words and phrases that make my life complete:

-Ingredients (it makes me think of a witch boiling some trouble in a cauldron).

-Boots (people always have to say it retarded).

-Panties (who the fuck uses such a feminine name for a piece of fabric so close to your asshole).

-Bull in a China shop (I have a specific cartoon that plays in my head when I think of this one).

-Spook House (I recently heard this one and couldn't stop laughing.).

I'll add more later, I'm too enthralled in the fact that there is a town in America called Tatoville. There is no way I would ever want that shit on my birth certificate. I mean, that's public record! I mean seriously, we can't just add ville on the end of any old word and expect people to live there. Hi, I'm John and I'm from Taintville. I'm originally from Choadland but the old ball & chain needed to move on account of her asthma.

Yeah, I'm definitely the crazy lady laughing at her computer screen right now...

sleepy mcgee loves creepy dupree

Umm, note to self: normal people don't have to hide the fact that they are drinking at a party. Something about your actions have triggered the word "alcoholic" into my brain. Just sayin'

T's party was rad. I totally bounced the shit out of that blow up house in the backyard. My favorite part was saying "look at my boobs, they're bouncing. WEEEEEEE!"

Oh and yelling R's name and then hiding in said blow up house was fucking hilarious...especially when he snuck around the window and scared the shit out of us.

Tonight was like being 14 all over again, except there were no drugs and there was alcohol that I wasn't downing. Oh, and no keg stands or random make out sessions. Speaking of which, I totally got more lip action when I was outskis. What the hell? Can't a girl get a little lip service up in this piece? I mean, if you don't use it you lose it right?

So I have this h20 polo game I'm playing tomorrow. It should be pretty fucking sweet. I can't wait to get tossed around in the water. I haven't felt that since I moshed at the knitting factory and broke my jaw. YAY! I love chaos. It's pretty funny because most of my besties have no idea what this water polo crap is about. Too bad they can't make it :(

::insert pity part here::

In other news, I will definitely shit my pants if there is a butcher paper sign that I get to run through. If I could do that daily, I would have the best starts to my mornings. Either that or a line I get the run through when I'm done with my day to mark the end of a good rat race. Life is hard, but apparently running through things sounds like a good idea to me. I think the Kool Aid pitcher had it right...burst through that fucking wall! OH YEAH!

In even other news, I really enjoy your company blog. Our relationship is really working out. You listen and never back-talk. Do you like me? Circle yes or no....

I called her on the phone and she touched herself, she touched herself, she touched hersel!

Say Anything put on a great show today at HOB in Anaheim. It was a little awkward though because

A) I don't drink

B) I don't smoke

C) I saw everyone who knows Andrew (crazy ex-boyfriend who must keep a 100 yard radius from me).

D) All of the above

If you picked D, you are a winner winner chicken dinner.

I saw Stem though...but of course he did not see me. He has this shaved head that looks rather siiiiick. We're talking Ed Norton in American History X. There's nothing like a good skinhead to make me wet...it's a challenge and dangerous. I mean, death could totally be involved. All kidding aside, it was pretty sweet.

Disneyland was the same as always except for the rain and massive crowds on a Wednesday. I did get to eat beans and rice at Ralph Brennan's. Like Sir Mix-A-Lot says, Red Beans and Rice didn't miss her.

Whatever, I'm tired.

FUCK YOU! Just because....

oh and for realsies, I would like everyone (and by everyone, I mean the 2 people who reads this) to know that I pretty much hate everything about this dude I had a crushie on...mostly because it didn't work out the way I wanted it to...and partly because he's a fucktard for not knowing how amazingly dope I am. FUCK OFF!

outsies.

I fucking hate science with a passion

It's pretty much the worst subject ever. I love learning about it, but I cannot recite that shit for the life of me. No amount of photographic memory will suffice. I just cannot give a shit enough to do something about it. Sadly, even though I don't care, I somehow pull off a C.

I just listened to this Dharma talk (Buddhist lecture) by Pablo Das. We have unfinished karmic energy. I feel like I've known him my whole life and for some reason, I'm drawn to him. It's odd, but whatevs. I'm also drawn to glittery shit, but it doesn't mean I'm going to marry it.

I've been listening to Weezer lately. Lame I know, but I can't get away from it. It's either that or Nazi Penis Jew Vagina. It's complicated but I have my younger sister's Itunes on my compy. Apparently she likes to listen to retarded bands with even more retarded names. Who am I to judge. I like Weezer for fucks sake. BTdubs, Weezer has their own snuggie. I don't know how I feel about that, but for some reason I want to burn one. I guess I'll go with the idea that they are no bueno.

I'm off of work this week. Normally I'd be stoked, but I have so much shit to do it's exhausting. And by shit, I mean sleeping on the couch and watching TV. Oh and occasionally studying for this test I have today. I'm totally going to fail. But I'm accepting it and moving on. I'm no longer fighting the fact that I'm lazy. I'm accepting it and moving on.

Due to the weather, I think I'm going to kick today old school status. I'm dressing emo. Yeah, that's right. I'm going to sit in the corner and cry in the dark about how the birds are dying. And I'm going to wear tight jeans (which on my ass all jeans are tight), do a massive comb over starting from the nape of my neck, wear a studded belt and some converse and play the guitar on main street in HB. AHAHA! Remember when that shit was fun? Yeah, me neither...

It's either that or dress all hardcore punk rock...same clothes, different hair style? Oh and no crying just punching. ::insert windmill of punching:: I'm going to go like this and if anyone gets in the way, it's not my fault.

$20 says I sit here at my desk and do nothing all day but stare at facebook and criticize everything about your life. I win!