you left your shit at my house...

I love the thoughts that go through my head sometimes. Most people hate them, so I rarely say them out loud but here are a few from this weekend:

-Ok, here's the game plan. I'm going inside, I'll drop a deuce, jump in the pool for a quick dip and then bail.

-Tell that old bag to fire up the grille and throw another shrimp on the barbie; it is a party right?

-Thanks for giving me something to do during the day on a nice Sunday day because if this were 2008, I'd be high and drunk riding my beach cruiser down the beach. I prefer this shit so much more.

-Thanks for coming over and watch me watch TV all day. I really appreciate the company.

-Last time I checked, you're only an elder by belly button therefor you get no respect according to the room standards.

-You clearly have mental issues and need to stop throwing me around or my mental issues will act out. This is your warning and anything beyond this is not my fault, but my brains fault.

-There's nothing better than watching my stock go up while you're life is in shambles. UPGRADE!

-It's like a little christmas present on the top of my head. It's perfection!

-It's because she got face lifts, but they used the same leathery worn skin so it looks just as bad.

-Something about you makes me want to throw my dirty plate at you. Don't tell me you're the trash commitment because that gives me a reason to do it.

Yeah, that's all I got. I had a mellow weekend and it's not even done yet.